That feeling of loving that only one person but you can’t love inspired. 😥
I have lived the life on-line
Now feels like I’m falling off lifeline
On a rope, I hang
No hope to hung out
The memories fading faster than Chinese wax print
A deep hole of emptiness filled with water
Beneath I gasp for breath but not surrendering
How long can I hold on?
I don’t know why I am sharing this writing, but I feel to sharing with you. I feel my visa is expiring in no time. I just want to live life as it comes daily but seems time is racing Bolt hence reasons I might leave for Mars soon. I know you’re tired and have a lot on your mind in relation to the many things we have talked about in our lives (I always tell you about my life but not yours). I am sorry I keep asking how your day was and you’ve eaten daily without asking of your dreams and aspirations. I am sorry I don’t know your fears even though I care very much about you and mean every word I have said to you. I may have been a selfish friend where you know almost everything about me but I know little to nothing about you – I sometimes feel like I am disturbing you (I will address this issue someday, only if it won’t be too late) but I care.
Nobody wants to be alone. And I don’t want you to feel you’re alone or no one cares, maybe I should be the one to hear your sobs. Loneliness kills. When it feels like a luminous room but you’re not seen. No! I feel this way and terrified you might have been going through this.
You may have said to yourself “F*ck my life, I’m back here again”. Yet in a way you asked for this, you aren’t an idiot, though you might feel like one now. I know you don’t want to start again, from scratch, investing emotions, time and energy into somebody new…again. Building trust just so you can find security, as feeling insecure is no fun and I know. It will be hard, you will hurt but you still have life. No matter how bad things feel, they will get better.I have tried to love. “Eno be say I no go fit love, but Charlie, I love wey my heart now be like a jigsaw- I dey give my pieces to complete other people them hearts”. I believe you will find somebody else to share your journey with it a matter of time, somebody more suited to you, somebody stronger and you will grow together; all I’ve hoped for and believe in.
You are an awesome person, even if you don’t feel special yourself.
You are beautiful even when you feel ugly deep down. Forget about your scars, that’s your identity; I believe pains or hurt shouldn’t be a unit or a metre to determine a woman’s strength but you’re better and proud of you.
You are evolving.
I love you – sorry I haven’t told you all this while.
Yes! I love myself.
***Note written in my kitchen as I listen to Wanlov’s I make confuse & Mr. Eazi’s Rotate.